


keep you next to me

by twoheadlights (fizzfic)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Lots of Firsts, M/M, Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 04:16:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9106279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzfic/pseuds/twoheadlights
Summary: meeting for the first time in real life; filming phil is not on fire





	

**Author's Note:**

> title from for baltimore by all time low

**@AmazingPhil:** @danisnotonfire 12 days!!

-

**@AmazingPhil:** o.o

Phil stares up at his ceiling, unable to shut his brain up. It’s going,  _ Dan tomorrow, Dan tomorrow, Dan tomorrow, Dan tomorrow _ . He thinks,  _ it’s past midnight though. _

_ Dan today, Dan today, Dan today, Dan tod— _

He groans and buries his face in his pillow. Eleven hours. He counted.

-

As he waits for the bus, Phil refreshes his Twitter homepage to see if Dan has said anything. The last they’d had any communication was the previous night on Skype before he lay his head on the pillow and every fibre of his being was shaking with excitement.

A high pitched screech catches his attention. His bus has arrived and a single other person got on after him. He picks the seat a little to the front but not directly behind the driver. His companion for the hour long trip - a guy who looks about twenty with neatly cropped blond hair - sits on the other aisle and doesn’t pay attention to him. Fair enough.

He looks back at his phone and chuckles softly at Dan’s new tweet. He’d forgotten his pen at home so he couldn’t ‘script any videos’. He presses the ‘reply’ button and tells him to get one off the businessman (he doesn’t know if there’s a businessman on the train but isn’t Reading supposed to be full of them?).

The bus purrs into action and reverses out of the bus station and onto the open road. It isn’t a long drive to Manchester Piccadilly, an hour on a good day. Phil puts his earphones on and plays a song at random, shutting his eyes. His shoulders slack and he’s immediately too tired to open his eyes again. His thoughts are blurry at this point, but one thing that sticks out is his hyper awareness of the fact that he’s meeting one of his best friends today. He wonders what it’ll be like. Phil’s not very experienced with meeting his internet friends, he’d only started the beginning of the year. But he’s going to be Dan’s first. He’s actually more nervous about that than anything. What if he doesn’t meet Dan’s expectations? What if Dan finds him less exciting because there isn’t a camera pointed at him? But the idea is immediately shoved aside, because that’s ridiculous. He and Dan have Skyped and texted and talked on the phone. They’ve had plenty of conversations where Phil wasn’t AmazingPhil. So it’ll be fine.

Hopefully.

-

**@AmazingPhil:** On a bus to manchester. The single other person recognizd me! Akward

-

People mill about Piccadilly Station, tutting at slow walkers, shaking their heads at their watches, eating a little too quickly. Phil thinks that people spent way too much time worrying about things  and they should all chill the fuck out.

_ Funny you should think that, since you’re on the verge of exploding from nerves _ , a tiny voice inside his head said. He could  _ hear _ the smirk, which was scary. He dismisses it and looks at the large screen with the timings. There’s one that shows that train from Reading Station is due to arrive at 12:40PM. Fifteen minutes. Fuck, fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ .

A buzz from his pocket. A text from Dan:  _ almost there! where dyou wanna meet _

Phil types back a,  _ i’m in front of the ticket office? is that ok _

_ yes!! see u in ten :] <3 _

Ten. Oh  _ god _ . He starts pacing back and forth, narrowly missing the people crossing him, impatiently pushing past. So much for chilling the fuck out.

Ten minutes seems like a million years but then he vaguely hears a woman on the PA system announce that a train had just arrived on Platform 7. He looks up at the screen and sure enough, it’s Dan’s train, right on time. Without warning, his heartbeat quickens and his hand goes straight to his hair to fix it. He looks for some kind of reflective surface, jogs to the closest men’s washroom and washes his face for no reason. He stares at his face in the mirror. His eyes are wide like he can’t believe this is actually happening. He  _ can’t _ believe it. Dan is  _ here _ . Holy shit. A phone is ringing.  _ His _ phone is ringing. It’s Dan. What?

He picks up with a slightly shaking hand and says, “Hey, what’s up?”

“ _ I’m at the ticket office, I can’t see you _ ?” comes Dan’s voice. It’s weird because he can hear the same noise in the background as outside the washroom.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’m in the washroom, I’ll be out just now!” He cuts the call before Dan can say anything and grabs a tissue paper, scrubbing the water off his hands as he rushes out. He walks quickly to the ticket office, looking around wildly, trying to see Dan’s face in the crowd. There are more people near the office than before.

Because Phil has met friends from the internet before, he doesn’t expect anything dramatic to happen when he sees Dan. But it’s like someone punched all the wind out of his lungs or something. It takes him half a second to realise the brown mop of hair he’s looking at belongs to Dan. He advances in a sprint towards him, and Dan’s not seen him yet, he’s turning the other way, and Phil is about four steps away, he could call out to him…

“Dan! Over here!” He waves wildly as Dan whips his head around, looking at him. His eyes widen and Phil’s close enough to see how golden-y brown they are. He’s grinning like a fool and then Dan’s face breaks into a matching one and they’re hugging, his arms are actually around Dan’s waist and he’s so small and warm, and he smells like warm too. He feels Dan’s arms tighten around his neck and he smiles into his shoulder.

“Phil.” Dan says, but his voice is muffled. “I can’t believe -”

“Me neither.” Phil replies. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my -”

“ _ God _ .”

Yeah.

They’ve come to the point where they’re kind of swaying and Phil doesn’t want to let go. He opens his eyes and sees a few people glancing at them. What? It’s a station, lots of people meet here. Why is hugging them weird?

“Um…” Dan coughs awkwardly and releases Phil’s neck. Oh.

“Shit, shit, sorry!” Phil exclaims, letting go quickly. Oh god, has he made Dan uncomfortable? Was it too long a hug for the first time? He rubs the back of his neck and says sheepishly, “I’m a hugger, I’m sorry.”

Dan laughs and Phil registers the sound automatically, because it’s familiar, just a lot more clearer because there’s no shitty laptop or phone microphone distorting it. It’s a soft sound, and Phil wonders if Dan feels as nervous as him. If his stomach is doing somersaults at the thought  spending two whole days with him too.

“It’s alright, you’re really good at it.” Dan replies, smiling at him.

Phil shrugs. “I do like to think so.”

Dan shoves him playfully and they giggle.

So, that’s it.

-

“Where do you wanna go?”

“I dunno, you know Manchester better than me.”

“Yeah, but you must have some idea.”

“I don’t. C’mon, anywhere is cool.”

Phil rolls his eyes. He honestly doesn’t know where to take Dan and they’ve been aimlessly walking around the area for at least an hour (Not really, it was like five minutes). It was a bit awkward once they got over the excitement of meeting each other. Apparently Dan was as dazed about seeing him in real life as he was and that was comforting to know. A lot of glances had been coming their way - two tall boys with mirrored haircuts looking really shaggy and laughing too loud? Phil would stare too.

“Okay, well, it’s like one. Do you want Starbucks lunch?” He asks, looking at his watch.

“Ooh, yes!” Dan says, straightening up. “I haven’t eaten since this morning.”

“Same. Look, we could walk to Arndale, there’s a Starbucks there and we could  use the WiFi too.”

“You sure know how to treat a man, Phil.” Dan says, placing the back of his hand on his forehead, pretending to swoon.

“Shut up,” Phil retorts, laughing.

-

**@AmazingPhil:** In starbucks with dan :]

-

“Okay, where to next, Captain Claws?” Dan asks, as they step out of Starbucks and into the shopping centre.

“Hey, I only clawed at you three times!” Phil protests. It’s true; he was just  _ excited _ . And when he’s excited, he likes to...claw at people. Maybe drawing cat whiskers on his face all the time is doing things to his brain. He huffs and continues, “We could go check out the Apple Store?”

“Ooh, we could use one of the PCs for a Dailybooth picture!” Dan says, his eyes widening.

“We could.” Phil agrees, a little amused that Dan would be so excited about this.

“C’mon then!”

-

They manage to start a queue behind them whilst they took a picture and post it on both their profiles, Dan taking longer because he wouldn’t stop typing his caption (Phil went with a simple “omg @danisnotonfire” and Dan asked him if he was sure he had a degree in English Language).

It’s about 2PM when they walk out of Arndale. Dan is in the middle of telling Phil something about his old French teacher (he woofed a lot apparently and Phil asked if he might’ve been gay) when Phil suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.

He  _ had _ planned it - taking Dan on the wheel. They might never get to, and it’s close to sunset. It’ll look so pretty.

“So yeah, he had all these fucking  _ mugs _ and - Phil?” Dan looks back at him, eyebrow cocked up.

Phil rushes forward and grabs Dan’s shoulder, his fingers digging into the shirt. His eyes are wide and he’s practically bouncing when he asks, “Hey, hey, do you wanna go on the big wheel?”

“What?”

He lets go of Dan and points at the Wheel of Manchester. It’s moving slowly as people get on.

Dan doesn’t reply. He just takes Phil’s hand - Phil gulps at the contact even though he’s literally had Dan in his arms - and rushes across the road.

“Dan! Be careful!” He says, laughing loudly.

They reach the small queue at the wheel, breathing hard. “Wow, I love being fit.” Dan says, breathlessly.

“What? I didn’t catch that.” Phil replies, panting slightly.

Dan doesn’t repeat himself, just straightens up and looks at the wheel. “It goes so high. We could probably see the whole city.”

“Mostly.” Phil says, shrugging.

They move to the front wordlessly, Dan shifting from foot to foot apparently unable to keep still. Phil fidgets with his bag strap, not sure what to say. It’s ironic that the awkward silence is so natural because it’s the first time they’re together. He finds it funny that they’ve said the most obscene things to each other on social media and in texts and have had literally five hour conversations on Skype but in actual physical company of each other, they’ve been silent for most of it. Not that there’s anything wrong in it. At first, Phil kept worrying that he was being boring and that anxiety of not living up to Dan’s expectations bubbled up in him and that’s why he clawed and bit at Dan. He also realises that he  _ really _ likes him. Like, really, really. It’s a bit confusing and Phil had thought about this before too, before they met. But he isn’t sure how Dan feels. He probably thinks it’s just banter. Besides, Dan had been a committed relationship for three years and had been in that relationship when they’d started talking. He only broke up with his girlfriend the previous month. So maybe not.

“Phil, hurry up!” Dan’s voice cut through his thoughts and he looks up to see he’s already got on the capsule and was reaching out for Phil. He grabbed it and felt himself get pulled onto it.

“Sorry.” He says softly.

“That’s okay,” Dan replies, bemused. “What were you thinking about?”

“You.” Phil blurts.  _ Shit _ . “I - I mean, you know, if you were having fun or not.” Nice save, Phil. Good going.

Dan nods, grinning. “Oh yeah, this is great. Probably the best day of my life.”

“Probably?” Phil raises an eyebrow.

Dan smirks. “It could be better.”

“Pffft, you just wait.”

They’re halfway up and the sun isn’t setting yet. Phil’s seen the view too many times, but Dan is too excited. It’s so sweet, the way his eyes widen, pupils blown, as if he’s never seen anything more beautiful. Phil’s never seen anything so beautiful either.

_ I really, really hope you like me _ , he thinks. It’s such a desperate thought, and one he never thought he would relate to.

He can see the city lights looking like stars on the ground and it’s filling him up with warmth, the kind you get rarely, when you feel like nothing could go wrong now, absolutely nothing could ruin the moment. He’s about to look at Dan to tell him this, when he bumps straight into Dan’s nose.

“Oh!” He pulls back a bit, surprised at the closeness. Dan’s cheeks are flushed and he looks embarrassed.

“Sorry, ah, I was just -” He doesn’t look Phil in the eye, obviously trying to find a way to explain coming right into his space. He thinks Dan might kiss him, but that’s absurd and wishful and he’s never wished for things like that. He’s never  _ had _ to. Dan shakes his head and steps away and Phil’s heart sinks. Not about that, then.

-

Their legs are tangled under the table at the Cloud 23 bar in Hilton Hotel, sipping on good cocktails, not speaking, but finally enjoying comfortable silence. They look  _ very _ out of place with their jeans and wrinkled shirts and messy hair but feel like kings at the literal top of the world.

“It looks like we’re in the sky.” Phil remarks, looking out of the floor-to-ceiling window.

Dan nods. “I know, it’s like we’re in a bar in the sky.” He smiles a lazy smile, obviously a little intoxicated.

“Let’s go home?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

-

**@danisnotonfire:** me and @amazingphil are in the skybar in the Hilton hotel :] incredible view.. and the sun is beginning to set :)

**@AmazingPhil:** Had such a good day with dan! :] skybar is awesome

-

**@AmazingPhil:** :]

-

“Ooh, it’s like The Shining.” Dan remarks, looking up the stairs.

Phil shakes his head at him, smiling. “Okay, whatever you say, nerd.”

“Hey!”

He leads the way up the staircase, which creaks a lot under both their weights. “I’m not gonna get sucked in by the wood, am I, Phil?” Dan asks, stepping on it cautiously.

“Say more sentences like that.” Phil replies, not looking back at him, chuckling. “C’mon, I’ll take you to the guest room first and then mine.”

“And then can we eat?”

“Obviously.”

-

Phil’s nerves from before return when they stand outside his room. He’d cleaned up pretty well (found a fair few disgusting things from when he filmed things) so he’s not sure  _ what _ he’s nervous about. Dan knows how weird he is and he knows about some of the things in his room. So,  _ what _ ?

He opens the door and Dan steps in, his mouth opening wide as he stares at everything. “Wow. So...much.”

Phil tilts his head to the side in confusion. “I’m hoping that’s a good thing?”

Dan turns back and nods vigorously. “Oh yeah. This is great, I love it. Brings out your personality really well. Surprisingly neat too.”

Phil shrugs. “Well, I’m no pig. Did you expect it to be messy?”

Dan averts his gaze and blushes. “Yeah? Don’t hate me for that, please.” He adds hurriedly, looking a bit worried.

“Dan, calm down, it’s okay.” Phil laughs. “It’s usually like a hurricane hit it. I try to hide it in videos.”

It’s surreal, watching Dan walk around his room, his hallways, down his staircase, in his kitchen, the living room, sit on his couch, open his fridge. Phil had never imagined something like this would happen. It hits him hard that Dan is really  _ here _ , in his world, physically. He’s touched him,  _ hugged _ him.  It’s overwhelming to say the least.

-

“I wish I’d never seen a squid’s beak.” Dan says, his voice a mixture of disgust and sleepiness. It’s almost 2AM, he’s leaning on Phil, who has his arms around Dan’s shoulder, and they’re stumbling up the stairs after watching a documentary on zebras.

“There were no squids in that document -” Phil starts saying, but yawns before finishing the sentence.

“Yeah, but - but I just remembered.” Dan explains. They reach the top and stay practically hugging for a while.

“‘M so tired.” Dan mumbles into Phil’s neck. Somewhere in Phil’s sleepy mind, he’s alerted of their closeness. He holds Dan by the waist so he doesn’t slip off.

“Let’s get you to the bed, alright?” He leads them to the guest room and kicks the door open. It’s dark obviously, so he has to make sure he doesn’t trip over anything Dan may have left lying around.

He places Dan on the bed gently and lets him lie down himself. Dan immediately dissolves into the sheets as Phil covers him with a blanket.

“Wait, my t-shirt,” he says softly. “Help me get it off.”

Phil gulps. The fogginess of his brain is slowly clearing up. He sits on the bed and moves the blanket a little. Dan’s t-shirt has already ridden up slightly. He hooks two fingers of both hands under it - grazing Dan’s skin - and pulls it up. It gets a bit stuck at the neck and Dan lifts his head, giggling. “Sorry.” He says, grinning.

“S’okay, now just...lift your arms up.” Dan does as instructed and Phil pulls off the top in one swift motion. He has to use every ounce of his willpower to not look Dan’s topless form.

“Alright?” Phil asks, getting up.

“Mhm. Goodnight, Phil.” Dan says, yawning and turning to his side. “See you in the morning.”

“Yeah…” Phil takes one last look at Dan, considers it, and in one sweeping motion, leans and kisses his temple before rushing out of the room and half-jogging into his. Well.

-

**@AmazingPhil:** ahappyphil

-

When Phil wakes up the next morning (afternoon), it takes him two minutes to remember everything from the previous day. Dan. He’s literally across the hall. Holy  _ fuck _ .

He slips out, putting on a clean t-shirt while he does, and peeks into the guest room. Dan is fast asleep, as he left him, cuddling into the second pillow, breathing evenly. He backs out of the room before he gets caught up, making note of every single detail, how Dan puts a hand on his face and his fringe sticks to his forehead and his body is in a fetal position. Yeah, definitely before he gets caught up.

He’s making breakfast - or like, pouring milk into his cereal - when Dan walks in, wearing just his t-shirt over boxers and rubbing his eyes. He yawns loudly and Phil turns around to look at him.

“Good morn -” He stops short to stare at Dan. He looks so cute, Phil’s heart almost explodes.

“You didn’t wake me up.” Dan whines, clearly unaware of Phil’s transfixed state.

Phil shakes his head and replies, “Yeah, you were pretty tired so.” He shrugs as if that’s explanation enough. “Cereal alright for breakfast?”

Dan nods and takes his bowl and spoon and seats himself at the small dining table. As they eat their breakfast, he frowns and says, “It’s really silent here, which makes it creepier.”

“It’s a lot louder when the whole family is here.” Phil replies. “The TV is always on, Mum’s always shouting at Martyn to get out of his room…”

“That’s nice. Our house is so quiet because everyone just minds their own business.” He sounds a little sad and Phil doesn’t want that. He tries to think of a distraction.

“So, um, video today!” He exclaims, actually remembering that that’s happening. “Are you excited to film with the One and Only AmazingPhil?” He deepens his voice, trying to sound impressive.

Dan rolls his eyes. “Don’t get a bigger head than you already do, Lester.”

Phil raises an eyebrow. “Oh, are we on surname basis now?” He then registers what Dan actually said. “HEY! I do  _ not _ have a big head!”

Dan laughs and shakes his head at him and Phil’s glad he can make Dan laugh like that, openly and not just chuckle softly. He just wants to hear Dan all the time, talking, laughing, whatever because he’s waited months for this.

“Okay, stop,” Phil giggles. “We need to get a move on.”

-

**@AmazingPhil:** Hey :] ask me <interesting> anonymous questions http://bit.ly/PWEsT i’m recording a Q+A now!!!

-

“Alrighty, are we ready to go?” Phil asks, setting up his video camera on the desk.

“Yup.” Dan waves his little paper with all the questions he’d jotted down beforehand. They apparently weren’t as ridiculous as Phil thought they would be, “but still funny”, Dan had assured him.

He grabs Lion from the bed and hands him to Dan. “Here, you can have Lion for this video.”

“Nice.” Day says, grinning. He balances him on his left shoulder carefully. “Let’s start.”

Phil stretches forward and presses the record button. He spots the lioness plushie in the corner and takes it. “Let’s go for it.” He says in a deep voice, shoving it into the camera.

Dan shakes his head and looks at the paper. “Alright...first question. If you had to lose your leg or your nose, what would you lose?”

Phil covers his mouth. Wow. “I’d lose my leg,” he replies, “imagine my  _ face _ without a nose.” He presses against his nose to show exactly how he’d look and goes, “raaah.”. Honestly, what is with people?

“Voldemort has no nose.” Dan remarks.

“I’d look like Voldemort.”

“And Voldemort’s pretty fit to be honest.” Silence. Was Dan flirting?

“I already look like Voldemort,” Phil says quickly, so that no one notices. “ _ Harrryyy _ .”

But just as he says that, Dan says, “I would  _ bang _ Voldemort.” He can see Dan smirking in the viewfinder of the camera. Okay, so definitely flirting.

He looks back at him and Dan scrunches up his face. “Nice one,” Phil says. “Keep that up and I might just kiss you.”

“That’s what I’m hoping.” Dan replies easily.

Okay, what happened to the shy Dan?

“How do rabbits get protein?”

“From eating a lot of meat.”

“Do you have eye lashes?”

“No.”

“Ninja or pirate?”

“Ninja! Hoo-wa!”

Dan is about to ask him the next question but then Phil interrupts him. “Wait!” He says. “Come in closer to the camera.”

Dan looks at him like, ‘why?’ but complies. Their heads almost touch when Dan says, “I am naked right now.”

“ _ Oh _ .” Phil responds. They double over, laughing. “Who sent that?” Phil asks, wiping an imaginary tear.

“Anonymous. Anyway…” They calm down and go back to their original position of too close to the camera. “Why do you always make cat whiskers on your face?”

“Because I’m actually a cat and I need to connect to my true self while I pretend to be human.” Phil answers with a straight face.

“ _ Phil _ .” Dan rolls his eyes.

Phil lifts his hand to show Dan he’d put on a huge claw glove and bites his lip to stop from laughing. Dan just rolls his eyes, smiling and looks back at the paper. Phil goes, “meow” straight into the microphone and gets up.

“Where’re you going?” Dan asks.

“I can feel my cat-ness coming out.” Phil says, taking his Sharpie from the desk and sitting back down. “I can feel your cat-ness coming out too.”

“What? Ph - Phil, what’re you  _ doing _ ?” Dan says, eyes wide, as Phil presses the tip of the pen to his nose and starts scraping. Phil doesn’t answer, just continues to draw the whiskers on his face.

“Done!” He says with a flourish, stepping back to admire his masterpiece. Dan looks at the camera with a ‘what am I going to do with him?’ expression. Phil grins and does his own face before settling back down. “Okay, now continue.”

-

“And we’re done!” Dan announces. He folds up the paper. “Do you wanna say bye?”

Phil nods. They get really close to the camera and make hand-hearts. “Bye-bye everybody.” Phil says.

“Goodbye!” Dan adds.

“That was so cheesy.” Phil notes, sitting back down.

“Ha, it’s supposed to be cheesy.” Dan sighs. “Okay so…” He breathes in deeply. “This was the most fun I’ve ever had - Oh!” He doesn’t get to continue because Phil tackles him to the ground, laughing at his sudden fright.

“Sorry, did I scare you?” He asks, smirking.

Dan gives him a fake glare and Phil’s breath hitches slightly. They’re  _ so close _ . “What the  _ fuck _ are you doing, Phil?” He asks.

“Giving you that kiss we talked about earlier,” Phil replies and his lips meet Dan’s before they can reply. He bends down a bit and gives Dan an assuring smile before dipping his head to make their lips meet. His lips are really chapped, is Phil’s first thought. He tastes like a mixture of toothpaste and chocolate . Phil’s hand goes to the back of his neck and oh, Dan’s so responsive when he does that, he just closes the gap completely, pulling Phil down by the collar and  _ Phil, _ his heart beats so fast, his head is swimming, his mind is screaming because he doesn’t believe in this, he doesn’t believe for one second in small wishes being granted but he believes that he really likes Dan and apparently Dan likes him too.

“You’re so cute.”

Dan looks a little dazed but his eyes clear up. “Wh - just, oh my God, kiss me again, you idiot.”

Phil laughs. “Okay, okay, let’s just stop the video first.”

-

Dan’s pressed against the wall this time and the kiss is messy. Phil’s hand is on the back of his neck and he’s going slightly mad with how much he wants Dan in the moment. They won’t do anything, not yet, not so soon, but a boy can dream, right?

“Fuck,  _ Phil _ ,” Dan moans, his hand on Phil’s chest, grabbing a fistful of his shirt, as Phil moves his lips down to his jaw, then his throat.

“Shh.” Phil had wondered, ever since he heard Dan say his name after he realised he liked him, what it would sound like moaned from his lips. Now he knows and he wants to make it happen as much as possible. He lets go of Dan’s neck and kisses his cheek, his lips again, his forehead, god,  _ any _ exposed skin he can, and Dan, he’s writhing against him, little sounds that drive Phil over the edge.

He pulls away, getting off of Dan and straightening his shirt. Dan looks at him mournfully, like he didn’t expect to stop at that. “What?” He asks, licking his lips.

“Nothing, I think we’re done for tonight.” Phil answers, smirking. Nothing wrong with being a tease.

“You’re a little shit.” Dan says softly, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling. He looks beautiful, his lips plump from kissing too hard, his cheeks red, pupils blown, his top messed up. Phil is certain he himself looks like that and the thought of it makes his entire being shiver.

“Are you hungry?” He asks, getting off the bed and walking out of the room. “I’m  _ famished _ , and it’s midnight.”

“I  _ will _ get you back for that!”

That’s what Phil’s hoping, to be honest.

-

Phil isn’t asleep when Dan walks into his room a little later. The cat whiskers on his face have been mostly smudged off, probably from all the kissing they did. He looks up from the book he’s reading, eyeing Dan up and down. He’s stripped off his jeans, and his hair is as messy as Phil had left it, maybe even messier.

“Hi.” Dan says, voice raspy. Phil isn’t sure what exactly is going on, and he isn’t sure he likes it but Dan’s legs look just as amazing without skinny jeans as they do with, and his voice is doing things to his stomach, so he just nods in acknowledgement. Hi, hello, nice to see you in my bedroom half-naked and looking beautiful. “Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, sure, of course,” Phil replies, sitting up, straightening his back. “Come here, sit with me.” Dan walks over and sits in the space next to Phil, really close up, and he smells exquisite, faintly like Phil himself.

Dan coughs, clearing his throat. “Well, I mean, it's a bit stupid.” He starts.

“Dan, please.” 

He laughs softly, and his shoulders relax for a few seconds before tensing again. “Phil, I like you. A lot.” He adds the ‘a lot’ as an afterthought.

“I like you too, Dan. A lot.”

“Yeah, and that's really great, it is. It's just that, I haven't been properly  _ single _ ,” he gives Phil a knowing look, “since I was fifteen. My…girlfriend and I broke up last month and it's been hard, you know. I mean, you _ know _ .”

“I do,” Phil replies, nodding. Dan had spent a lot of Skype calls and phone calls _ and _ texts telling him how annoyed he is about everyone feeling sorry for his single ass and how his ‘long-term girlfriend’ doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship with him from university.

Dan sighs. “I dunno, I just, I like you and I've never been with a guy...like this. I mean, like, I've never made a move first or anything like that. It's weird to feel inexperienced, like being thirteen again.”

“Well, first of all, I'm honoured that I'm the first guy you've ever made a move on,” Phil says, grinning. He actually is. Dan's so  _ cute _ . “And secondly. It's  _ okay _ . I was inexperienced once.  _ God _ , I was so bad. The first time I kissed one of my partners in public, my friend told me I used too much tongue and I practically drooled on them.”

“Your kisses  _ are _ kind of wet.” Dan admits, side-eyeing him, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

“Hey!” Phil pretends to look indignant for Dan's sake. “ _ Anyway _ , my point is, I was lucky enough to not have people who would judge me for my ineptness. And you aren't either, because it's me. I'll teach you everything you need to know.” He tries for a reassuring smile.

Dan bites his lip like he still doesn't know. “Well, okay. It's really late, isn't it? We should sleep.” He leans forward and kisses Phil, making him squeak in surprise but then he melts into the kiss. He already feels accustomed to the feeling of Dan’s lips on his, it’s his favourite thing ever, the rough texture of them, his experienced movements (even though Dan claims to not know a lot, he sure knows how to use his tongue), his hands on Phil’s shoulders keeping him still. He likes that when Dan insinuates the kiss, he’s gentle, unlike Phil. He takes his time and caresses Phil’s cheek a little.

“Just feeling up my skin, are you?” Phil asks, chuckling softly against Dan’s mouth.

“Mm, ‘s nice.” Dan mumbles, holding onto Phil’s collar.

They pull apart and Phil notices Dan’s dark brown eyes turn softer. His heart  _ kind _ of melts at that. Wow.  _ Wow _ .

-

They’re tangled beneath Phil’s sheets, staring up at the ceiling (they can’t see his poster of Sarah Michelle Gellar, thankfully – Dan made sure to turn all the lights off beforehand). Phil has his arm all around Dan’s shoulders—he can’t believe how  _ small _ Dan is—and Dan’s hands are around his waist, holding on tightly, face buried in Phil’s chest.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” Dan says softly.

“Don’t say that.” Phil scolds him, but his tone is playful.

“Not saying it isn’t going to make it less true, Phil.”

“I  _ know _ , but I already don’t want you to leave this bed. How am I going to handle being miles and miles away from you?”

Dan headbutts his jaw lightly. “You fucking nerd. Go to sleep.”

-

“Smile!” Dan instructs, glaring at Phil.

Phil grits his teeth and places his hands on his hips. “Is this okay?” He asks, tilting his head to one side innocently.

Dan rolls his eyes. “I mean...I’m taking these so I can convince my parents you’re not just some creep I met on the internet and they were wrong about you but…”

“Okay,  _ fine _ .” Phil relents, slumping. He puts his hands in his pockets and smiles. “How’s this?”

“Now that’s what I call boyfriend material.” Dan replies, looking at him through his iPod screen. “And...we’re done. Nice work, Philip.”

Phil starts. “What?”

“What?” Dan frowns.

“N-Nothing.” He looks at his phone screen. “Come on, we have to go, or else we’ll miss the bus.”

“And wouldn’t that be a shame.” Dan mutters sarcastically, walking next to Phil, grabbing his arm.

Phil swallows a grin and kisses Dan on his temple.

-

“Okay, I know we said we’d be the cheesy kind of couple, but do you think holding hands under your jacket was too far?” Dan asks, looking straight ahead but still leaning towards Phil, trying to keep up with his long strides (he is, of course, doing it on purpose).

“Nah,” Phil replies. “Also, your hands are really soft.”

“Were you not expecting them to be?”

“No, I was, but I just want to see you blushing every time I tell you something nice.” He smirks at Dan who glares at him, but his cheeks are a light pink so he got what he wanted in the end.

“I hate you.”

“Do you? Do you really?” He raises an eyebrow.

Instead of answering, Dan shoves him away and Phil laughs loudly, glad that they still have this, that they’ve already crossed the awkward patch from the first day.

“Oh my gosh,  _ Phil _ .” Dan suddenly says.

“What?”

“There’s like two girls looking at us. Just leaning on the wall on the right. Don’t look though.” Phil goes rigid. Did they hear anything? But Dan said they were by the wall and that’s pretty far. But still. What if they were really loud?

They don’t speak until Dan’s train screeches to a stop in front of them. Phil isn’t sure what to do. He turns to Dan, in the process, glancing behind him and sure enough, there are two girls, kind of short, looking at one of their phones. They don’t seem to be paying attention to them so he looks at Dan again and softly says, “It’s been wonderful having you here.”

“I’ve had the best time.” Dan replies in the same tone. “Thank you for...I don’t know, liking me and stuff.”

“ _ Dan _ .” Phil rolls his eyes. “I don’t want you to go.” He adds, looking down at his feet.

“We’re seeing each other soon though.”

“Halloween is so  _ far _ .” He doesn’t mean to sound so whiny. The distance that hasn’t even happened yet is killing him.

Dan laughs, shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous. I’m going.”

Phil pouts. “Fine. Leave. You’re a sucky kisser.”

“Goodbye Phil.” He turns around and walks off to the train door closest. Phil smiles, but doesn’t follow Dan. They can’t keep doing this and he really doesn’t want Dan’s parents to hate him.

Dan looks at him through the crowd from the train door and waves wildly. He’s yelling but Phil can’t hear him. He just waves back, backing away from the platform slowly. He stands back as the train pulls into action, taking Dan away from him once again.

 


End file.
